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Billie Eilish: Embracing Sacrifice for Artistic Expression

A Dive into Eilish’s Creative Process

While capturing the essence of her creative process for the album ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’, 22-year-old sensation Billie Eilish was submerged in a pool for an extensive six hours, masterfully holding her breath for two minutes at intervals as the photographer immortalized her moment beneath a white wooden door. With a dedicated team of 40, including her mom, stylist, and management, Eilish showcased her unparalleled commitment to her art, enduring physical discomfort to ensure the album visually represented her vision. This episode is a testament to her philosophy that true artistry involves struggle, underscoring her dedication to pushing boundaries in her music.

Billie Eilish at the 2019 iHeartRadio Music Awards in Los Angeles California on March 14, 2019
Billie Eilish at the 2019 iHeartRadio Music Awards in Los Angeles California on March 14, 2019 – Photo by Glenn Francis

Image credit: Toglenn, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Balancing Success with Longing

Adorned in her iconic baggy black attire, Billie Eilish reflects on the whirlwind of success following her debut album, ‘When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?’, which catapulted her to stardom with two Grammys and a TV show role. Amidst this, Eilish yearns for the simplicity of her past, channeling this sentiment into her upcoming album, ‘Happier Than Ever’. This album marks a deep dive into her darker side and a bold experimentation with new sounds, culminating in what she considers her finest work to date. Despite the exhaustion from a demanding photoshoot, Eilish’s gratitude for the medium of music to express her innermost feelings shines through.

Insights into Eilish’s Personal Journey

After a grueling six-hour photoshoot in water for her album, Billie Eilish humorously recounts the irony of being advised to take a relaxing bath. The surreal experience of seeing illuminated orbs in her parents’ backyard, reminiscent of a drug-induced hallucination, adds a layer of intrigue to her post-shoot recovery. Despite her physical and mental fatigue, leading to a rare nine-hour sleep, Eilish’s curiosity about the unusual lights and her mother’s nonchalant response highlight her unique perspective on the world around her.

Coping with Pressure and Finding Resilience

Reflecting on the intense discomfort experienced during the photoshoot for her album, Billie Eilish draws a parallel to childbirth, revealing her childhood aquaphobia and her fear of whales. This candid sharing underscores the depth of her commitment to creating impactful visual narratives for her music. Days later, in her brother Finneas’ home studio, Eilish’s playful complaint about his lack of YouTube Premium and her attempt to share animal videos that inspired her album, reveal the lighter, behind-the-scenes moments of their creative process.

Synesthesia, Color, and Identity

Billie Eilish delves into how synesthesia influenced the creation of ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’, with the color blue playing a pivotal role despite being her least favorite. The accidental choice of blue hair became an iconic part of her image, reflecting the serendipitous nature of her artistic journey. The album’s title, born from a conversation with Finneas, encapsulates her desire for both intensity and tenderness in her music. The eclectic studio setup, from a Petrof piano to a limited-edition Gucci Xbox, mirrors the diverse influences and whimsicality that define Eilish’s creative process.

Finneas’ Journey: From Family Home to Astronave Studio

Finneas’ move from their Highland Park home, famously featured in the documentary ‘Billie Eilish: The World’s a Little Blurry’, to his own studio, Astronave, paradoxically enhanced the siblings’ creative synergy. The physical separation alleviated the constant pressure to create, fostering a healthier balance between work and leisure that has evidently enriched their musical collaboration.

Life with Shark: A Furry Companion in the Background

Amidst the chaos of a day marked by an unfortunate smoothie spill, Billie Eilish’s rescue pit bull, Shark, becomes a beacon of joy as he awaits a birthday hike. This moment of domesticity is punctuated by a heartfelt mention of a gift from Hailey Bieber, underscoring the personal connections that ground Eilish amidst her fame. Shark’s subtle presence in the album, through the sound of his breathing and collar, adds a layer of intimacy to her work, illustrating the seamless blend of her personal and professional worlds.

Influence and Collaboration in “Hit Me Hard and Soft”

‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’ not only showcases the O’Connell siblings’ talent but also features collaborations with their live drummer and the Attacca Quartet, met during Finneas’ work on a score. The quartet’s strings weave a cohesive thread through the album, symbolizing the unity and complexity of Eilish’s musical narrative. The anticipation of sharing this album, with its intricate layers and collaborative spirit, underscores the meticulous care and passion infused into every note.

Behind the Scenes: Listening Session and Album Description

Describing ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’ as an ‘album-ass album’, Billie Eilish and Finneas emphasize its cohesive nature, inspired by landmark albums across genres. This approach to album-making, valuing a unified musical journey over standalone singles, reflects their commitment to crafting immersive experiences for listeners. Their anticipation for a resurgence of album-centric listening echoes their belief in the enduring power of comprehensive musical storytelling.

Track Breakdown: Unveiling Themes and Inspirations

The opening track of ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’, a sister song to ‘What Was I Made For?’, sets a poignant tone for the album, juxtaposing delicate vocals with heart-wrenching lyrics. This is followed by ‘Lunch’, a stark contrast that showcases Eilish’s versatility and boldness in exploring themes of desire and intimacy. Finneas’ recount of the Interscope team’s reaction to ‘Lunch’ highlights the provocative and unexpected nature of their musical narrative, challenging listeners while maintaining a cohesive artistic vision.

A few weeks later, Billie Eilish and I take Shark for a walk that spans a mile. During our stroll, we encounter an elderly woman gathering her mail. She briefly admires Eilish’s ensemble – black skeleton sweatpants, a Biggie Smalls tee, and black skate shoes from the Osiris and Fuck the Population collaboration. The woman praises Eilish for her ‘Halloween costume,’ eliciting a thankful response and hearty laughter from the pop star as we proceed with our walk.

Navigating Fame: Safety Concerns and Personal Experiences

Despite having a security detail and her pit bull, Shark, Billie Eilish has faced some harrowing encounters, including uninvited stalkers at her home. Shark, even when on anti-anxiety meds like trazodone and Reconcile, is fiercely protective of Eilish. She reveals that despite his anxiety, Shark would fiercely defend her if needed. These incidents highlight the darker side of fame, a reality seldom considered by those outside the limelight. I express my sympathy for Eilish’s experiences, noting they sound akin to a horror movie plot. Eilish, with a chuckle, thanks me, sharing that such dangers have unfortunately been part of her life, leading to a complex relationship with her own safety.

Reclaiming Normalcy: Eilish’s Journey to Self-Preservation

Billie Eilish yearns to reconnect with her ‘2019 me’ from the ‘When We All Fall Asleep’ era, a time before a severe bout of depression last summer. She shows me a journal entry that starkly reads, ‘I know I’m lucky, but I’m so unhappy.’ This period marked the deepest depression she’s ever faced. Despite experiencing joy and laughter, Eilish has battled with depression for most of her life, finding solace in the belief that these struggles are cyclical. Yet, this time, she struggled to maintain hope for improvement, showcasing her vulnerability.

Surviving Through Support

Billie Eilish attributes her perseverance through tough times to her support system: Maggie, her dad Patrick, Finneas, and her childhood best friend, Zoe Donahoe. Realizing she needed to venture out more, she reflects on a turning point – recognizing she hadn’t truly enjoyed life for seven years. Despite her early success, Eilish felt deprived of normal life experiences, having seldom left her house over the past five years. Starting with small outings, like visiting local grocery stores Lassens and Erewhon, she began reclaiming parts of her life she missed.

Billie Eilish’s adventures continued as she attended a Turnstile concert, explored Target, CVS, and various thrift stores. With Zoe Donahoe by her side, she even ventured into an ice cream shop, breaking her usual habit of waiting in the car. Recently, she attended a book reading with Mustafa the Poet, marking it as progress in her journey to engage more with the world.

Confronting Fear

Billie Eilish opens up about her fear of public appearances, a result of being constantly observed and vulnerable. Despite this, she’s been courageously facing her fears, striving to live more freely. Her friend Hailey Bieber admires Eilish for confronting her fears head-on. Hailey, having had a more conventional upbringing, acknowledges the unique pressures of fame. They recall advice from John Mayer, suggesting the intensity of fame wouldn’t last forever, a comforting thought for Eilish and her fan base.

Embracing Authenticity

Initially, Eilish hesitated to spend time with Kravitz, fearing the intimacy of being truly known. Eventually, she embraced the idea, realizing the importance of genuine connections. Kravitz, understanding Eilish’s hesitance due to their shared Sagittarius traits, encouraged her to be less guarded. Their friendship flourished, proving that getting to know the real Billie Eilish only deepened their bond.

Billie Eilish: Embracing Normalcy

Billie Eilish’s visit to Chipotle, documented on Instagram, highlights her desire for normalcy. Surprised employees questioned her presence, to which she humorously responded with her genuine love for Chipotle, dismissing any notions of pretentiousness. This moment underscores Eilish’s preference for simplicity and authenticity.

Unveiling Personal Life and Values

Billie Eilish challenges the stereotype of celebrity extravagance, preferring the simplicity of making a grilled cheese herself over having a personal chef. Despite owning an electric Porsche, she drives herself and eschews the luxury of private jets and vacations. Eilish also candidly discusses the importance of self-pleasure in her life, advocating for its normalization, especially among women with body image issues.

Unveiling Personal Life and Values

As Billie Eilish prepares for her new era and the promotion of ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft,’ she remains focused on her mental health, privacy, and well-being. Reflecting on the media’s fascination with her personal life, particularly after revealing her bisexuality, Eilish emphasizes the irrelevance of public scrutiny in defining one’s identity. She advocates for a world where personal exploration and identity are not subjected to labels or undue pressure, resonating with her fans.

Source:

Angie Martoccio (April 24, 2024). Billie Eilish Would Like to Reintroduce Herself. Rolling Stone. https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/billie-eilish-hit-me-hard-and-soft-mental-health-fame-1235003585/. Accessed April 26, 2024

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