Empowering the Next Generation: Expert Strategies for Parents to Foster Resilience, Independence, and Emotional Well-being in Children for Lifelong Mental Health
It’s essential to allow children to navigate problem-solving independently and experience the outcomes of their positive or negative choices. This approach is crucial for building resilience in children and promoting their overall mental health and emotional well-being. Developing resilience in teens and adolescents is particularly important as they face unique challenges in their journey to adulthood.
Dr. Daniel Amen’s Insights on Fostering Mental Strength
This insight comes from renowned psychiatrist and bestselling author Daniel Amen, an expert in childhood resilience and mental development. Speaking on the “Built Different” podcast episode released Tuesday, Amen cautioned that parents frequently fall into the trap of excessive intervention, which he believes leads to the development of “mentally weak children” lacking resilience. This lack of resilience can have long-lasting effects on a child’s ability to cope with adversity and maintain good mental health.
The Pitfalls of Excessive Parental Intervention
These parental behaviours — such as completing your child’s school assignments to secure better grades or yielding to demands to prevent a meltdown — can significantly hamper children’s development of mental fortitude, autonomous decision-making abilities, and overall resilience. Research indicates that children who develop strong resilience are more likely to become well-adjusted, successful adults with better mental health outcomes. Building resilience in students is a key factor in their academic and personal success.
Real-Life Lessons: Allowing Children to Face Consequences
“In my experience with my daughter, if she forgot her homework, no one would deliver it to school. If she didn’t wear a jacket despite her mother’s advice on a cold day, no one would bring her one,” Amen shared, highlighting the importance of teaching resilience through real-life experiences. “When children express boredom, instead of rushing to provide entertainment, it’s crucial to respond with something like ‘I’m curious to see how you’ll handle that.’ This approach fosters adaptability and emotional intelligence in children, contributing to their child emotional development and resilience in kids.”
“Excessive parental intervention actually boosts your own self-esteem while diminishing theirs,” Amen continued, emphasizing the impact on a child’s emotional development and self-confidence. “Mental toughness and resilience develop through the process of solving one’s own challenges. This is a key aspect of raising resilient children and learning how to build resilience in a sensitive child.”
Balancing Support and Independence: A Psychologist’s Perspective
According to Barnard College child psychologist Tovah Klein, as shared with CNBC Make It last year, fostering mental resilience doesn’t require harsh disciplinary measures. However, she also noted that attempting to protect children from all disappointments won’t help build their resilience or contribute to their healthy emotional development. Instead, it’s important to focus on developing stress management skills and goal-setting abilities in children.
The key to building resilience in children lies in allowing them to face and work through difficulties, setbacks, and mistakes — while maintaining a supportive and loving presence. This approach is fundamental to promoting childhood resilience and overall mental health. It also helps children develop important skills like self-regulation and emotional expression.
“I advocate for a more empathetic, connected approach to building resilience in children. Something like ‘This might be challenging, but I’ll be here when you’re finished,'” Klein explained, highlighting the importance of emotional support and positive relationships for children. “The underlying message should be: ‘I believe in your ability to handle this challenge, and I’ll support you regardless of the outcome — whether you succeed, fail, or land somewhere in between.’ This method of positive parenting helps in developing resilience and healthy emotions in children, fostering emotional awareness and social competence.”
Empowering Children Through Problem-Solving and Responsibility
The American Psychological Association emphasized in a 2012 blog post that encouraging children to assist others—from household responsibilities to helping peers at school—helps develop their sense of empowerment and responsibility. This approach ultimately enables them to tackle their challenges with greater confidence, contributing to their resilience and mental and emotional wellness. It also helps build important protective factors and social support networks.
“The goal is to let them develop their problem-solving abilities and find their own solutions, rather than having excessive parental involvement,” Amen concluded. “This is how we teach kids resilience and prepare them for the challenges they’ll face in life. It’s about fostering a positive outlook and building psychological capital that will serve them well into adulthood.”
The Long-Term Benefits of Resilience for Mental Health
By focusing on building resilience in children through these strategies, parents can significantly contribute to their child’s emotional well-being and mental health. Nurturing relationships, providing emotional support, and allowing children to develop coping strategies are all crucial elements in raising resilient children who are equipped to handle life’s adversities. Strong family connections and family cohesion play a vital role in this process, as does community involvement.
Practical Strategies for Building Resilience in Kids
Here are some mental health tips for kids that parents can implement:
- Encourage open communication about feelings
- Teach problem-solving skills
- Foster a growth mindset
- Promote physical activity and healthy habits
- Help children build a support network
- Model resilience and optimism in your own behavior
These strategies can help children develop the resilience needed to navigate challenges, recover from trauma, and maintain good mental health throughout their lives.
Source:
Ashton Jackson (January 18, 2025). Parents who make this simple mistake raise ‘mentally weak children,’ says psychiatrist: ‘You are increasing your self-esteem by stealing theirs’. CNBC. https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/business/money-report/parents-who-make-this-simple-mistake-raise-mentally-weak-children-says-psychiatrist-you-are-increasing-your-self-esteem-by-stealing-theirs/3519443/. Accessed February 7, 2025
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